Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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