I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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