The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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