what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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