You work out of a Hotel?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
