I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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