i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
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He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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