he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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