Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
