i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
