So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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