PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
