when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
