I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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