I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
