I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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