Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
