she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
