did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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