I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
