dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I need moral support for this bender
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
