It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Randomize
