Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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