whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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