her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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