I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Shame - the story of my life.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
