she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
