Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
