why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
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Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
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He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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