bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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