i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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