There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
