Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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