made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize