We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a blender
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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