Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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