how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
