Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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