and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
