I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.