At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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