I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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