saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
