Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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