her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
