mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
