To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
