Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
