some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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