Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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