Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
