dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
