We got so high we made milksteak
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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