is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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