all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
