I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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